Yes Steve, our honeymoon was awesome. Thanks for asking.

This one is my personal favorite.

Dana,

        James Pierpont Morgan was a Wall Street Banker, and Robber Baron, before and during The Great Depression, which began in 1929, and continued until the beginning of World War II.   His name is on one of the biggest Wall Street banks, J. P. Morgan - Chase.
        A famous quote of his is as follows: "If you have to ask the price of a yacht, then you can't afford it."
        Similarly, if you can't afford to buy enough water to keep a Hot Tub filled, then you can't afford to rent a house that has a Hot Tub.
        As I have explained before, if the water level in the Hot Tub falls below a certain Threshold Level, then the water pump for the Hot Tub will be sucking air instead of water, and the electric motor which drives the water pump will burn out.
        I have been taking care of the Little House, and the Hot Tub, for quite a few years now.  And during all those years I never had to worry about the water level in the Hot Tub, because the various tenants were careful to keep the Hot Tub full.
        According to Clause 11 of the Lease, Tenant's Maintenance Responsibilities, "Tenant will (1) keep the premises clean, sanitary, and in good condition, and, upon termination of the tenancy, return the premises to Landlord in a condition identical to that which existed when Tenant took occupancy, except for ordinary wear and tear;"
        As I explained to Robert, when showing the house, pouring cooking grease into the kitchen sink would be a very bad idea, because it would clog the drain pipe.  But dumping a large quantity of barbecue grease into the Black Barrel and the Blue Barrel is also a bad idea.  A better method is to pour the grease into a container such as an empty coffee can.  Or you can cut the top off an empty plastic milk jug, and pour the grease into it.  Then you can place the grease-filled container, right-side up, into a plastic garbage bag, and tie up the bag.  Then you can place the container, still right-side up, so the grease doesn't spill out, into the Black Barrel.
        The Blue Barrel is for recyclable materials such as paper, cardboard, plastic, aluminum, glass, etc.  At the Recycling Center, somebody has to go through all those items, sorting them by type.  Adding Barbeque Grease to the mixture is a dirty trick to play on those folks.
        Also, when I'm showing the house to prospective future tenants, I'm going to be embarrassed if they lift the lids of the Black and Blue Barrels, and get a whiff of the Barbeque Grease coating the inside of the barrels.
        If you don't have enough time to clean up afterwards, then you don't have enough time to barbeque in the first place.
        I'm remembering that you wanted me to call an exterminator to kill all the cockroaches which were infesting the little house.  Of course, a couple of puddles of Barbeque Grease will draw cockroaches, and other vermin, in large numbers.

Steve

Apparently it did not occur to Steve that we'd been on our honeymoon for three weeks and couldn't have been using our bbq, cleaning our bbq, or playing any other dirty tricks.

Vines and Gates

Steve began hacking down all the the bushes on the side of our house and admonished us for not pruning them. I emailed him to apologize and explained that we didn't know they needed pruning and his reply is below. 

To Dana and Robert,

        I don't have a lot of time to chat, because I'm very busy repairing the things which you guys keep breaking.  I just finished repairing the front window, which you guys have jammed up twice in just 4  months.  In contrast, Brad and Laura jammed up the window only once in 9 years.  Also, today I repaired the Garden Gate at the front of the house, at the north-east corner of the house.  Someone with massive strength ripped the gate, its hinges, and the beam the hinges are attached to, away from the wooden fence, the very fence which the Flowering Thorn Vines are pulling down.  Robert, is there anything you would like to tell me?
        By the way, I'm not quite through working on the gate yet, so I would appreciate it if you would not use the gate tomorrow.  I want to do some more work on the gate, to try to make it Robert-proof.  I should be done with it by tomorrow afternoon.
         Regarding the Flowering Thorn Vine, I will do the rest of the pruning myself.  It was very nice of Robert to help with the pruning the other day, when I asked him to, and I appreciate it.  But for the rest of the work, I prefer to do it myself.  My approach is to work carefully, to avoid possible damage to the neighbors' wooden fence.
        I did some more pruning of the Flowering Thorn Vines today, and plan to do some more tomorrow.

Steve


RIP flowering thorn vine.  You will be missed:

Emergence of the hot tub issue

The hot tub water level....oh, the hot tub water level...

Dana and Robert,

        The water in the Hot Tub, being hot, evaporates quickly.  If the water level in the Hot Tub gets too low, the water pump for the Hot Tub will be sucking air, which will burn out the electric motor which drives the pump.  Then you will no longer be able to use the Hot Tub.  So it is to your advantage to add water to the Hot Tub, as needed, to maintain the water level in the Hot Tub.  Thanks.

Steve

The hot tub is always completely full! For some reason I am reminded of Mr. Burns vs. Don Mattingly in the softball episode of the Simpons.

Pest Control Rant

I emailed Steve to tell him that I had seen a cockroach and ask if could we call an exterminator. His reply was equal parts gross and weird.

Dana,

        What I do is put out Combat Roach Baits in all the rooms, especially under the kitchen sink, behind the refrigerator, on the shelves of the kitchen cabinets, in the closets, behind the stove and washing machine and dryer, and so on.  I put out about 2 dozen baits, and replace them every 2 or 3 months.
        Also, I put out Rat Baits in the laundry room, and in the garage.  A few months ago, at night, I saw a rat, lying on its side, twitching in its death throes, in the laundry room.  I had already showered, so I just went to bed, in the hope that since it was dying, it would not be able to attack me in my sleep.  It was kind of creepy, though, the thought of the rat chewing on my face, like the rats attacking Winston Smith, in George Orwell's book, "Nineteen Eighty
Four."  In the morning the rat was dead, and I disposed of its corpse.
        Since you have a cat, you may not want to put out Rat Baits.  I would be  worried that a cat might be tempted to eat such a bait.  And anyway, the cat will presumably go after the rats and mice, and so the rat poison would not be needed.
        My understanding is that even if you kill a roach, if it is carrying eggs, the eggs will still hatch, producing a new generation of them, which is one reason roaches are so hard to get rid of.  But even if you could kill all the roaches in the house, there are many more in the yard, and the surrounding neighborhood, and they would just migrate into the vacant (of other roaches) house.
        In the neighborhood are, from time to time, raccoons, possums, squirrels, rats, mice, gophers, crows, mocking birds, juncos, humming birds, and many other types of birds, wasps, bees, spiders, ants, worms, etc.  It's a real ecosystem.
        So, exterminating the roaches is not a realistic goal.  Controlling them by using roach baits is the best that can be hoped for.  Also, of course, leaving food out will attract roaches in large numbers.  It's best to keep all food in the refrigerator, or in closed containers.  Also, I tie up the plastic kitchen garbage bag, every night, before I go to bed, to discourage the roaches.  I hope this information has been helpful.

Steve

Broken Hot Tub

For the first month we lived in the house, the hot tub was broken. When we asked Steve when it might be fixed, this was his response.

To Dana and Robert,

        Now that the warm weather is here, it's perfectly natural that you are eager to be able to use the Hot Tub.
        I just spoke to Keith K on the phone, regarding the Hot Tub repair.  He will pick up the pneumatic switch in a few days, and then be able to install it in the Hot Tub.  He's a very busy guy (he was driving to Ensenada when we spoke, to pick up some building materials), so things happen based on his work schedule and availability.

Steve

First, it's always warm in LA and second, thanks for the reassurance that what we're feeling is perfectly natural...

First Impressions...

In the beginning, he wasn't so bad...hard to believe there was a time when Steve considered me thoughtful! We had no idea what was in store...

Hi Dana,

        I was on the Internet, which is why my line was busy.  As it happens, I got a cell-phone today, at the Verizon store in Santa Monica.  My new cell-phone  number is (310) 701-XXXX.
        I would appreciate a legible copy of the lease.  I only need the last page, with all our signatures.  I will be at home tomorrow, waiting for a phone call, and possibly a visit, from Keith K, the General Contractor.  If you would like to bring it by tomorrow, after work I would guess, that would be very nice.  Thank you for your thoughtfulness.

Steve